For much of my life, I have struggled a lot with obesity, my self-image, and my sense of self-worth. About a year ago, I made the commitment to consistently lift weights and to work out as often as I could. In that year, I have learned a great amount about gym culture as well as myself.
One of the main reasons I started working out was the fact that I was an obese person. When I first started going to the gym, I went in late in the evenings to avoid being seen by other people. I was terrified that I would be judged for how I looked and that I would be shamed and judged. What I discovered is that the vast majority of people don’t care about other people in the gym. There is a common acceptance that everyone there is there to better themselves in some way so everyone really just sticks to themselves and doesn’t bother judging others.
However, gym culture is not perfect, especially in the high school age demographic. Toxic masculinity and the glorification of restrictive eating habits has grown prominent among teenage bodybuilders. Bodybuilding influencers on social media that are dishonest about their use of performance-enhancing drugs create unrealistic expectations for younger lifters that can ultimately lead to incredible amounts of body dysmorphia and self-hate. I have seen younger lifters putting down the accomplishments of others to make themselves feel better about their own progress and strength. Everyone in the gym is there for different reasons and with those reasons come different goals and progress.
I interviewed Coach Chad Koepke to ask him about his thoughts on gym culture.
“I do think it is misunderstood,” said Coach Koepke. You’re there with other people that have some common goals…usually, there is someone who is always willing to help you out.”
When asked what advice he would give to beginners in the gym, he said you should have a plan.
“Have an idea of why you are doing it…understand why you are there.” If you have never worked out and you need help, “Most gyms have someone there that you can ask.”
In regard to toxic masculinity and the occasional toxicity of gym culture, he commented “sometimes theres that hierarchy of ‘well I bench press more than you so I’m better than you’.” He then said, “Sometimes that can be a motivator… I think when you are dumped with people who aren’t your friends it can be a deterrent.”
However, Koepke admitted that he had not seen this very often.
The most important thing that I learned is also the main lesson I believe those who read this should walk away with. I knew that in order to make any progress in the gym and maintain the habit in the long run, you need to learn to love yourself and who you are before you see any results in the gym. What happened to me in my attempts prior to a year ago is that I walked into the weight room with the expectations that I don’t like myself and the way that I look now but if I work out, I will like myself.
This mindset is not sustainable because noticeable progress doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a sustained effort over a long period of time to really see changes. Since I went to the gym once, I thought that I would suddenly gain muscles overnight. Because that was my perspective, whenever I woke up the next day and didn’t look like a bodybuilder, I would give up and assume that being able to change how I look was impossible.
Learning how to accept how I looked without seeing any change but continuing to work out anyway is what allowed me to work out enough that I have made a bunch of progress in the year that I have lifted. Another lesson I learned through working out is that because everyone has different bodies, motivations, and goals, it’s best not to compare yourself to other people.
So, in my experience in the gym, I have found a welcoming community who are always willing to help. However, this is not always the case. The culture of the gym can sometimes promote toxic masculinity and make newcomers to the gym feel unwelcome. Despite this, most people you encounter in the gym will be understanding and uplifting. It doesn’t matter what you ultimately want to gain from going to the gym as long as you are doing it from a place of self-love and acceptance. I highly recommend that anyone who reads this give the gym a try, you never know what you might get from it.
